“life will be better in spring”

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its supposed to be a new blog, and hence a new beginning
which isnt suupose to mark any emo posts
but i cant help.
just this tiny once pls??
its been a roller coaster of a ride for my emotions
not just this month, but the month before and the month before that
people are just funny beings arent they?
they do not treasure what is there before their eyes
they only fix it on things that seem unattainable to them
likewise, i cant say i'm any different
the more unattainable the thing is,
the more i work towards it to try and get it
but sometimes hard work isnt enough
there's actually more to be put in and to be sacrificed
before i can achieve it
then i ask myself, are the sacrifices worth the thing that i'm trying to attain
sometimes my answer is yes, while other times its no
and certain times, the answer can sway both ways
depending on the situation and my mood
and this makes me even more confused.
i'm like shit you
why is this so complicated when it can be so simple
i guess, no matter how much u pine for something
that thing/person will never know.
and then the viscious cycle of thoughts of whether it is worthwhile to do everything for it begins
i'm just a coward
i rather dumb and dense coward