“life will be better in spring”

January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 August 2011 September 2011 January 2012 February 2012 July 2012 September 2012 December 2012 June 2013

24 years have passed.
that's normal.
i'm young.
for the most of this year, it has been good
but not saying there werent times where the going got worse
the bad was really bad (for me at least)
but if i were to compare to the sufferings of others,
i guess i ought to shoot myself.

TRIPS
one in jan, one in july and one in dec
the kind of life i wanna lead
jan went to genting with angeline.
it was kind of awesome seeing smoke come out of ur mouth
even in asia.
haha
and i finally can tell people that i've went to genting before.
july to taiwan
for my grad trip
it was AWESOME. with the food and shopping
i could stay there forever if u let me.
dec was bangkok.
last trip of the year.
spent with mx and amanda
and flew on xmas day itself
and yes. shopping haven.
u shld see the amount of loot we bought
despite not being able to plan much beforehand,
it was still not that bad. hehe

SCHOOL
this year also marks the end of my school life
sadly, it does mean a long long pause to my academic years
and after 22.5 years of studying, i'm at the crossroads in life
to head to the workforce
something i'm torn between looking forward and hating it
and yes, saying goodbye to camps..
the place where i make good friends

JOINING THE WORKFORCE
end august could not roll around more slowly
really
but eventually everyone will get to this point in their life
i'm considered "lucky" to have delayed it till now??
and soon, august rolled into sept and into oct and so on and so forth
4 months of working alr.
no longer a rookie anymore
but also not an experienced person
and during this 4 months,
my attitude and perspective changed.
this is now a job, not a career
i thought i could make it into a career
but alas, no. i'm rather jaded by a particular incident now
jaded is a good word.
maybe i'll recover and bounce back, and maybe i wont
only time will tell and so my heart and brain.

UPS AND DOWNS
i've drank till i puked
not once, but several times
i've drank till i had a pounding headache
clubbed farrrr too often in one month
lead a destructive life
kept drinking
but i have no idea how to deal with life now
its not the usual shit they throw at me
its something bigger, and more lethal
they say media influences how u handle things
my way of relieving stress and my pending depression is through drinking
pardon me. and my liver
yes. i'm self destructive in this way

PICKING UP NEW THINGS
one of the highlights this year has got to be my resolve to learn a new instrument
picked up the ukulele
not that i've been practising often
but it has been a good source of entertainment for me

to end off, i guess the biggest fear and source of self destruction is myself
ultimately i need to get over my own hurdle
the expectations of myself, my temper and the conditions that are presented to me
maybe 2013 will be better
wishful thinking or not, i hope to be a better person
and i need to be.
since i'm going to turn 25 in a year's time